BLOGGER: A little disapointed that no one drawed dicks on his forehead.  

Drunk Texts: (307)You did happen to get any phone calls last night regarding unicorns did you?

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BLOGGER:  I can’t tell who’s more frightened?

DRUNK TEXTS: (781) what are you doing (617)Making an omlette with bananas. Thats all i ahd for it (781) Reply: Why?

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BLOGGER: Another great use for duct tape

DRUNK TEXTS: (614) Why don’t you let yourself go and be bisexual with me tonight.

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BLOGGER: A boat that lives up to it’s name.

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BLOGGER: He’s finally playing with a full deck

Drunk Texts: I cant wear a biki bc I have hickeys all over my boobs

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BLOGGER: This is just plain rude!

Drunk Texts: Just watched two little dogs have sex, for some reason I couldn’t look away

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BLOGGER: Flexible aren’t we? She is my kind of woman!

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BLOGGER: Lame attempt for attention. Where’s the tongue action? 

DRUNK TEXTS: Just finished with late night booty call 1, now heading to #2

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