MAIL: once again spray tans brother the “I love ?” dude lol

Let me get this straight. One brother shops at cheesy huts in the mall buying I Iove….t-shirts and the other shops at Armani Exhange? Their poor parents. I feel for them.

Yah know, I can’t decide which one is cooler. Oh wait, this brother wears dog tags and ski goggles. He is..Case closed.

Matt 

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Thanks mailer. It’s great knowing we have fans in Ankara, Turkey. Ok, not really. To be honest, we just don’t give a fuck about you Turksters…

As you might guess peeps, I have no clue what the hell this says.  I just wanted to prove to all of you that if you slap a person while they are crossing their eyes they do actually get stuck! As you can see by the hot ass biatch on the cover.

Who says we don’t provide news worthy articles for our fans..

Matt 

Tags: Funny Sh!t by Matt
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MAIL: Jesus, mary adn joseph….i guess here in the inland Empire, CA men don’t have standards…they pretty much like anything..

Not true mailer. My detective skills tells me that she is real winner. See all those trophies to the right…It takes a lot of hard work and dedication to all those. Granted they are probably from something stupid like hot dog eating contests for people with cheesy purple hair.

 Still, either way she’s a winner. 

Matt

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MAIL: This is like, THE last guy I would ever want to get mugged by. I can’t tell where his beard ends and his chest hair begins. Overall a rather frightening man.

 Where the hell did you dig up this gem? He looks like a museum statue of something they found frozen in Antarctica and decided to make a mold of it. Then some drunk idiot walked by slapped a hat on it and took a pic. This could be the most serious looking dude I ever seen. Do you have any of him wearing a pink tutu or a princess crown? That would be fucking hilarious. 

I think I want to name him Caveroid.

Matt

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Whats up with all the homelyness Ladies? Is there a rule book that demands all Newark women to do the exact opposite of LA women? You aren’t allowed blonde hair, fake tans, fake ta tas, or make up?  You know I always thought I wanted a “real looking girl” to grow old and have lots of assholes with, but after seeing you three I changed my mind.  I rather be tricked into thinking I’m scoring hot ass..

I guess the grass is always greener on the other side.

Matt

Tags: Drunk Girls, Funny Sh!t by Matt
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MAIL: His eyes are cloudy, like a dead animal’s. Just goes to show you how some women can leave you dead inside…

Mailer, don’t you mean it just goes to show you what happens when you eat bad Asian food?

Matt

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 Sorry mailer. I’m stumped what to say here….This looks like a typical spring break pic with a couple of girls boozing it up. There isn’t anything huge about it, that POPS right out and says look at me.

I try again later, maybe I’ll see something.

Matt

Tags: Spring Break by Matt
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MAIL: epic fail if she’s trying to be cute with the kissy face..but she nailed dory from finding nemo.

I agree poor execution. She won’t be taking any modeling jobs anytime soon. Well…maybe at Petsmart or something.  I just hope for her boyfriend’s or maybe girlfriend’s sake, that she doesn’t lay there on that bed like a dead fish all the time. There is nothing more disappointing.

Guarantee there are 20 different teddy bears with different names just above her head. I can spot the crazy ones a mile away. 

Matt

Tags: Funny Sh!t by Matt
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