Red Bull
BLOGGER: Now that’s the way to finish off a red bull.
I’d be impressed if that was a can of coke or something wider like my package. The one on the right definitely is a biter. I hate your kind.
Matt
Jesus
This is a classic. This DORK freaks out because his mother cancelled his World of War Craft account. WOW for any of you who don’t know, is the largest online game with a monthly subscription ever. I think they have something like 12 million people paying them 15 dollars a month. It’s a fucking cash cow. I’ve tried it to see what is was like and it was fun but I’m not going to dedicate hours of my life in a fake world building a character towards an level 80 warrior or whatever when I can be out there in the real world getting fucked up in Boston at a club working towards my 5th tequila shot and a chick with a level 10 rated ass. Sorry..
So why did this dork freak out? Well, in his real life he is an every day geek who can’t get laid or play sports or do really anything worth mentioning. No I don’t know him, but I think those are pretty safe assumptions don’t you? In WOW he is a God with lots of cool friends like the level 75 Druid, Rathor aka (John Smith) from New York. So when she cancelled this kid’s account she pretty much ended all of his social life. Fucking Bitch!
You’ll notice that in this kids ridiculous freak out that he shoves a remote up his ass. Not good Kid, who ever you are. You have 9 million….yes million viewers via youtube who already think you are a fucking tool when you started freaking out. Shoving the remote up your ass on top of it only makes people think you like foreign objects shoved up your ass. Smooooth!
Oh, if I was you I show a video of you kicking the shit out of your little brother maybe shoving his head in the toilet or something degrading like that. That’s the only way to redeem any pride whatsoever.
Matt
Thanks.
I just want to thank Leodis McKelvin for being the Patriots MVP tonight. Ok, there is that slight technicality that he wasn’t on the Pats. Whatever, he still made the biggest play for us.
Leodis, Don’t worry about what the haters say…You the mother fucking man.
Super Duper Thanks,
Matt
Private time
In case any of you out there missed the President’s speech last week I thought I should tell you that wearing your hat backwards or sideways is now an offense punishable by stoning. I know it’s sounds pretty extreme and even barbaric, but the President has decided to take a strong stand against Douchebagism in America. Shit, it’s about time somebody did something about it. Anywho, I’m not sure why this picture reminded me of that just now..weird.. It just did….
Thanks.
Matt
Megan Fox
News flash…Super Celebrity/ hot piece of Ass, Megan Fox is a fucking Douchette according to the members of the Transformers crew. Ok, they didn’t call her a Douchette but they did call her lots of other mean things after she called Michael bay Hitler in an interview. Now, I think they may have been a little over dramatic but either way they used this as excuse to write a pretty fucking funny letter about her. The letter does give you an pretty good idea of what her personality is like. To some it up…. She’s sucks big hairy donkey balls. She’s miserable all day long to everyone that works with her but super happy when reporters come around. Can you say Bipolar? …I think they should just start slipping Prozac in her morning coffee to help cheer her miserable ass up… Wait forget that…She’s probably already on it. Try some high quality ecstasy instead.. That should do the trick.
Oh btw, don’t kid yourselves. I would still bang her bipolar ass just as fast knowing she’s a miserable biatch. You don’t bang the personality….Always keep that in mind fellas. Plus, I bet I could get her to smile for at least 60 seconds for the crew..Did I say seconds, I meant minutes. Duh..
Matt
Here is the letter courtesy of Perezhilton.com
This is an open letter to all Michael Bay fans. We are three crew members that have worked with Michael for the past ten years. Last week we read the terrible article with inflammatory, truly trashing quotes by the Ms. Fox about Michael Bay. This letter is to set a few things straight.Yes, Megan has great eyes, a tight stomach we spray with glycerin, and an awful silly Marilyn Monroe tattoo plastered on her arm that we cover up to keep the moms happy.Michael found this shy, inexperienced girl, plucked her out of total obscurity thus giving her the biggest shot of any young actresses’ life. He told everyone around to just trust him on his choice. He granted her the starring role in Transformers, a franchise that forever changed her life; she became one of the most googled and oogled women on earth. She was famous! She was the next Angelina Jolie, hooray! Wait a minute, two of us worked with Angelina – second thought – she’s no Angelina. You see, Angelia is a professional.
We know this quite intimately because we’ve had the tedious experience of working with the dumb-as-a-rock Megan Fox on both Transformers movies. We’ve spent a total of 12 months on set making these two movies.We are in different departments; we can’t give our names because sadly doing so in Hollywood could lead to being banished from future Paramount work. One of us touches Megan’s panties, the other has the often shitty job of pulling Ms. Sourpants out of her trailer, while another is near the Panaflex camera that helps to memorialize the valley girl on film.
Megan has the press fooled. When we read those magazines we wish we worked with that woman. Megan knows how to work her smile for the press. Those writers should try being on set for two movies, sadly she never smiles. The cast, crew and director make Transformers a really fun and energetic set. We’ve traveled around the world together, so we have never understood why Megan was always such the grump of the set? When facing the press, Megan is the queen of talking trailer trash and posing like a porn star. And yes we’ve had the unbearable time of watching her try to act on set, and yes, it’s very cringe-able. So maybe, being a porn star in the future might be a good career option. But make-up beware, she has a paragraph tattooed to her backside (probably due her rotten childhood) — easily another 45 minutes in the chair!
So when the three of us caught wind of Ms Fox, pontificating yet again in some publication (like she actually has something interesting to say) blabbing her trash mouth about a director whom we three have grown to really like. She compared working with Michael, to “working with Hitler”. We actually don’t think she knows who Hitler is by the way. But we wondered how she doesn’t realize what a disgusting, fully uneducated comment this was? Well, here let’s get some facts straight.
Say what you want about Michael – yes at times he can be hard, but he’s also fun, and he challenges everyone for a reason – he simply wants people to bring their ‘A’ game. He comes very prepared, knows exactly what he wants, involves the crew and expects everyone to follow through with his or her best, and that includes the actors. He’s one of the hardest working directors out there.
He gets the best from his crews, many of whom have worked with him for 15 years. And yes, he’s loyal, one of the few directors we’ve encountered who lowered his fee by millions to keep Transformers in the United States and California, so he could work with his own crew.
Megan says that Transformers was an unsafe set? Come on Megan, we know it is a bit more strenuous then the playground at the trailer park, but you don’t insult one of the very best stunt and physical effects teams in the business! Not one person got hurt!
Tila Tequila escapes to Girls Gone Wild Island
PR NEWS WIRE: The Reality TV Star Reveals All in an Exclusive Interview and Photos for Girls Gone Wild MagazineLOS ANGELES, Sept. 8 /PRNewswire/ — The craziness that comes with being America’s most popular party girl drove TV reality star Tila Tequila to seek a few days of peace by herself on “Girls Gone Wild Island” recently. She shared her visit in jaw-dropping photos and a candid interview in the new October Issue of Girls Gone Wild Magazine, on stands today.Tila made headlines last week when she called San Diego police to report that she had allegedly been choked and physically restrained by San Diego Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman. Merriman was taken into custody by Sheriff’s Deputies at the time.”My life is so hectic,” Tequila tells the magazine. She saw “Girls Gone Wild Island” as “an escape, a place where I could be by myself, have some peace and quiet.”Girls Gone Wild Island” is a sprawling tropical paradise and favorite getaway spot for A-List celebrities. In her revealing interview, Tila takes readers through her day-to-day life on the island — riding jet skis, lounging in the sun and drinking Margaritas, in nothing but a bikini and stiletto heels (or less). “I was a giddy little girl in a candy store,” Tila says of her luxury vacation. Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis says he was happy to provide Tila with a chance to take a break from the fast lane. “Tila is an amazing girl and a good friend,” says Francis. “She is more than welcome on the island anytime.”In addition to Tila, Girls Gone Wild Magazine continues to introduce readers to the hottest real college girls in America.
WTF! I never knew that Girls Gone Wild had their own island. I was jealous of Joe Francis enough already because he stares at Ta Tas for a living but knowing he has his own little party/whore island. Well… It’s just not fucking fair. Hey Joe, I expect an invite pronto buddy. Who was the one that saved your ass in FT Lauderdale back in 2004 huh? Ok, it wasn’t me but none less I want an invite.
I love how this article makes it sound like she escaped to the Island to relax. That makes total sense. They called it the Girls Gone Wild Island and in the same sentence said Tila went there to relax? Shouldn’t she have gone there to go wild and show us some Asian Ta Tas? She probably banged 4 guys, 15 chicks and a horse in that couple of days. Is that relaxing? Actually, I guess they are right when I really think about it. Sex does relax you after you blow your nut 20 times. So my apologies Mr. PR man for Girls Gone Wild.
I’m not sure why but the fact that I know she’s so dirty makes me want to bang her even more. Sorry Ladies, I know I’m disgusting sometimes.
Matt
God of Douchebags
I wanted to remind you guys what a Douchebag looks like in case you have forgotten. I’m not just calling him one because he’s wearing a Yankees hat either, although it does jump him like 5 more points on the D-bag scale because of it.
Matt
Tough Chick
BLOGGER: Had to send it in because of the stupid shirt.
I was going to make fun of your awesome pink hair but I’m too scared now. Sooooo, I guess you look great 
Matt