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So Ben and I are hanging out in my grandmothers’ basement this weekend when he says, “Matt, I don’t get what’s so funny about the Gloucester cheerleader picture. Why do we keep getting emails about that?”
It then occurred to me that there are people out there more retarded than myself. That’s why I’m glad I took on this project with Ben. He gives me the perspective of a man like “Joe The Plumber”. (Ben, if you ask me who Joe The Plumber is, I quit.) So to Ben and all of you other people living under a rock, here you go (Long but worth it and just so you know, I didn’t touch the article or highlight anything. It’s all the guy from the link.)…
Seventeen pregnant girls at Gloucester High: SOS, Texas CPS!
by Kurt Schulzke on June 19, 2008
Where’s CPS when we really need ‘em? This from Time:
As summer vacation begins, 17 girls at Gloucester High School are expecting babies—more than four times the number of pregnancies the 1,200-student school had last year. Some adults dismissed the statistic as a blip. Others blamed hit movies like Juno and Knocked Up for glamorizing young unwed mothers. But principal Joseph Sullivan knows at least part of the reason . . .
By May, several students had returned multiple times to get pregnancy tests, and on hearing the results, “some girls seemed more upset when they weren’t pregnant than when they were,” Sullivan says. All it took was a few simple questions before nearly half the expecting students, none older than 16, confessed to making a pact to get pregnant and raise their babies together. Then the story got worse.
Huh? How could it get any worse?
“We found out one of the fathers is a 24-year-old homeless guy,” the principal says, shaking his head.
Oh, really! So it’s the homeless guy that’s the problem. Silly me. Drunk teen fathers are vastly preferred in Gloucester, I guess. Does the principal have something against homeless men? Aren’t they entitled to a little happiness, too?
But it gets better. Turns out the Gloucester High School encourages teens to get pregnant. It’s what Texas CPS “investigator” Angie Voss would call a “pervasive environment of sexual abuse.” Oh, what was it that the FLDS were accused of in Texas? Hmm. I’m wracking my brain, here:
The girls who made the pregnancy pact—some of whom, according to Sullivan, reacted to the news that they were expecting with high fives and plans for baby showers—declined to be interviewed. So did their parents. But Amanda Ireland, who graduated from Gloucester High on June 8, thinks she knows why these girls wanted to get pregnant. Ireland, 18, gave birth her freshman year and says some of her now pregnant schoolmates regularly approached her in the hall, remarking how lucky she was to have a baby. “They’re so excited to finally have someone to love them unconditionally,” Ireland says. . .
The high school has done perhaps too good a job of embracing young mothers. Sex-ed classes end freshman year at Gloucester, where teen parents are encouraged to take their children to a free on-site day-care center. Strollers mingle seamlessly in school hallways among cheerleaders and junior ROTC. “We’re proud to help the mothers stay in school,” says Sue Todd, CEO of Pathways for Children, which runs the day-care center.
Isn’t this sweet! High fives and baby showers. A largely Catholic community in Massachusetts encourages all their teens to have babies out of wedlock and they get fawning, sympathetic coverage in Time. An FLDS community encourages a few of theirs to have babies within a lasting family relationship and the government of Texas steals their brood to the thunderous applause of media left, right and center. What a country!
From http://iperceive.net/seventeen-pregnant-girls-at-gloucester-high-sos-texas-cps/
Tags: Stories by Matt
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So yesterday we get this incredibly well written and articulate email from someone who brings up a very valid point. No, it wasn’t another one of those “Paternity Test” requests letters, those usually come in the regular mail. You’ll find yourself going… “Ohhh yeaaaaahhh! You’re right!”I know you are usually fond of basking in the guidoness of our fine northshore men and women, which of course I truly appreciate because the irony and complete ridiculousness that they truly think they are cool was beyond comprehension… In fact unarticulatable for me until you came along and gave me and all the other exasperated Bostonians a voice. I am not writing however to only thank you for your much needed humor and much needed written assault on these cheeseball looking AX FCUK wearing fake tan, zirconia, rocking retards who photoshop petnames onto myspace accounts and probably spend an hour posing in front of a camera in thier bathroom on a biweekly basis… I am writing however to point out that, although these guidos may be somewhat ridiculous looking….I havent encountered many who come say rude and offensive things to me…stupid, ignorant things yes, but they are usually quite charming once you get around the pungent smell of aqua di gio (which thier frequent overuse has ruined the scent permanently for me). I am certainly not into dating them, but I appreciate that they own their guidoness without apology.
I am writing to bitch about the “average” looking dudes, whos origin cannot be traced by haircuts or spray tan. Im talking about the vultures that come to clubs or venues, lacking social skills, wearing khakis, a tie and holding a bud light and cell phone clip, hoping to pick up some chicks. These are the men, that have truly offended me. Case in point, the man pictured in the files i sent you, came up to me, and asked me if my friend (who i told fellow boat cruisers was my brother in an attempt to scare off would be vultures) “F*cked me up the ass….” My response, also pictured, was half disbelief, half discust. He thought it was a good opening to hit on me??!!!!! Did he think I would laugh and say, “Your so very witty lets make out,” like WHat the Hell? WOW it was a good opening to get a beating, which did happen… When the boat docked about an hour later, I went to Revolution, and once again, found myself near some wall hugging khaki wearing dudes who politely offered me a hundred dollars to show them my ass… I honestly dont get it. After I told them to fuck themselves, I wondered… why cant someone expose these vultures like wickedsexywater has exposed the guidos? Take it from me, there are various social evil doers in the boston club scene! I want Justice!
I think I’m in love…
As stated, check out the pictures below… You can see it unfold VERY clearly in these pictures. Glad she pointed this group out, probably because they get overlooked for their lack of flamboyance. We all know the type, the Dockers khaki’s, a tucked in, usually blue Ralph Lauren dress shirt, a boy’s regular hair cut, the well observed cell phone clip on the belt (kinda like a soccer dad) and nothing distinguising about them. Just about all the time, their either out of shape with a soggy midsection, or just beanpole thin. Well done my friend. You free on Saturday??
I’m now wondering what we should call this newly discovered species of Non-VIP club/bar attendees…
Get at us.
Tags: Barneys, Funny Sh!t, Stories by Mark the Intern
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Hello Boston and surrounding towns and cities. Just wanted to take a second and thank everybody for all of the pictures we are getting. Obviously those people that are sending them in now realize that not all photos and stories make it on the site. We try to put up only the best of the batch. Sometimes we actually get good pictures then forget about them because we get so many emails everyday. Keep on sending them in. We love it. We have also mentioned that we have a new site coming out soon. Kinda hoping it will be up in May sometime. We think you guys are gonna love it. We do. Maybe we will even keep up with the other pages and put pictures up on the weekend. I think our investor friends might like that. Anyway, we have realized that many of our fans wonder what happens to our reality stars after they are on the site. Does their life get better? Does it get worse? These are the questions we want to answer. So because of this, we put together this group of testimonials.
Testimonial 1 Hey Matt and Ben. You guys have thrown me up on your site a few times. At first I was embarrassed and then slowly, I noticed my life was starting to change. People were recognizing me everywhere I went. I was like a local star. I stopped doing drugs, I went back to college and I’m not fat anymore. Being on your site was the best thing that every happened to me. And guess what? I came out of the closet. I told my dad I was gay and he still loves me. I owe it all to you! You guys rock! Anonymous Guy
Testimonial 2 Ever since me and my race have been up on you site, I have noticed that people of Boston are starting to accept us. I cant help but feel like I’m starting to belong. Sure people still point and stare at us but its no longer because we are “different”. If it wasn’t for you guys, I’d still be in my basement trying to erase my freckles. Thanks wickedsexywater, Gingerkid #2 of the Boston Mafia
Testimonial 3 Dear Matt and Ben, My favorite story for you is from St. Patty’s Day weekend. I was on a typical bender….10 hours of drinking at the St. Patty’s Day Parade, hit a few house parties, then the Playright and Beer Garden, then somehow wondered over to Newbury St. in a drunken stupor. I ended up at Sonsie with a few friends absolutely shit-faced when a girl at the bar came up to me and asked me if I was Johnny Superstar from WSW. She was there having dinner with her boyfriend who was in town from Cleveland, and she was telling her boyfriend “there’s the most famous kid in Boston,” and was telling him all about the website and how I’m out partying all the time. I couldn’t believe it. You guys definitely jacked up my local celebrity status. JS
Well there you have it. Apparently being on our site changes lives. So send in those pictures of your friends and help us help you. And don’t worry, we keep all our dirty little rats 100% confidential even if somebody wants to “take us out behind a dumpster and rip our eyeballs out only for the cops to find in the biopsy that we lost our voices due to the amount of screaming we did begging for our pathetic lives.” (Oh yes that happened. We weren’t scared though. We are brave)
Tags: Stories by Mark the Intern
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So here is a pretty awesome email we got this weekend. The only thing we edited were a few of the “earmuffs” words.
Hey Matt/Ben,
Just wanna say that I think your site is the best thing that has happened to boston. You guys are ausome. With that said, Iim hoping you can help me expose my bitch of an ex-girlfriend. And no, not sexy bitch, literally bitch. She is one of Boston’s Eurons (I love that friggin word haha) and seriously takes about 10 pictures of herself a day. Not only did the c*nt cheat on me while she was out with me at Gypsy but she went hope with another Euron who wasn’t even the guy she cheated on me with. She is an arrogant, self-absorbed hooker who I seriously believe should be deported back to the sorry excuse of a country she came from. Oh and one more thing, ya know the wipe your ass with their toothbrush trick? Yup, I had to get my sh*t this past weekend and I’m sure when she went out Saturday night our relationship left a great taste in her mouth. Pleasssseeee warn the city about this douche!
Hey buddy, I think you just did all the work for us.
Tags: Funny Sh!t, Stories by Mark the Intern
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